Saturday, February 28th, 2009 (3 years, 2 months ago.)
I’m not really sure what’s been going on in my life lately, to be honest. Blake and I have been having problems recently. And not major problems, but Erica has a problem with jealousy. And Blake, who knows this, has been ignoring me for the past five days to talk to his ex-girlfriend, who just “really needs a few good friends in her life right now.”
That’s fine and dandy. But if I can leave school, but decide to stay an extra half an hour to talk to you during lunch? Don’t ignore me. Especially if I can’t hold your hand or kiss you or something to show everyone that we belong to each other. And Allie. Dear God. She tells me all teh time I’m the only one she’s ever loved this much. She didn’t know what she’d have done without me. So why is she lying to me all of a sudden? I don’t care if she drinks. I don’t care if she smokes. Why is she tryign to hide it from me? And we have plans tonight, and suddenly, she might not be able to go because her mom thinks she’s staying out too late. Right, well. Her curfews at two? And she’s home before one every night? Someone tell me how that even works? I. Hate. Being. Lied. To.  0 CMNT |   Saturday, February 14th, 2009 (3 years, 3 months ago.)
So, they tell us we have free will. We can make our own choices, right? But how do you know which choices to make? After all, some are really bad choices, and cause chaos. Hence why they have laws against them. So really, there’s no free will in that choice at all. You can do it, but you’re not supposed to.
Just a thought for the day. Happy love day, all! 0 CMNT | Thursday, February 5th, 2009 (3 years, 3 months ago.)
So, I can’t exactly remember when my last post was, or how much I’ve updated since then. So let’s back track a bit to the post about Skye, since I know that I posted one about him.
So, I decided after that conversation that I wanted to get a peace order. Because they don’t do “restraining” orders over here. Which is all well and good, except that I don’t see any difference. But anyway, Mom and I went down to the district court house last Friday, and got a temporary peace order, which was good up until our final hearing. Well, that same night, Skye texted my best friend Allie, and said “You can tell Erica I said thanks alot, as long as it doesn’t come from me, because I’m court ordered not to talk to her.” So the prick KNEW that he wasn’t supposed to text her about me. But did, anyway. So we went to the final hearing today, and I felt like I was going to throw up the entire time we were there. Its not that I was nervous, but the thought that I would be in the same room with him, hearing his God-awful voice made me want to vomit. And I almost did in the courtroom. Yay for former eating disorders and being able to control your gag reflex.  So, long story short, he denied the harassment charges, and claimed that I was the one trying to contact him. Yeah. As if. And he threw all this shit like, “I told her to leave me alone in November, when I broke up with her, and THEN she tried to commit suicide.” I thought my mom was going to strangle the guy. Luckily, I had saved the conversation from that Thursday, and in it was something along the lines of me saying that I had told him BEFORE to leave me alone, and he still was contacting me. So the judge, who was already pissed off at both Skye and I because we couldn’t shut up and stop defending ourselves, said that he believed that the harassment was to the level that I needed a peace order. So we won. …Now if I could only get my stomach to stop doing cartwheels… 0 CMNT | Thursday, January 29th, 2009 (3 years, 3 months ago.)
Two plus two equals four. Fact. Three times nine is twenty-seven. FACT. Erica plus Kasimov plus Pre-Calc equals UGHIMGOINGTORIPMYHAIROUT. Fact.
How on Earth do I manage to fail for not participating? Maybe if the man explained what he was doing instead of just sticking something up, expecting us to know it, and then yelling at us if we don’t, then we’d be good. Or that I get caught reading every class, when, in fact, it is the kid who smells like Gym socks that sits behind me that gets yelled at or reading? How does that even work. So yeah. Failed the semester for math. I’ll kill that man. Or get him deported back to russia. 0 CMNT | Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 (3 years, 3 months ago.)
So. Saturday, I had my SATs, right? And I was seriously stressing them - I’m not very good at taking tests. I have like… test anxiety or something. So I was nervous as anything. And then that whole thing with Skye on Thursday had me hyped, and then Mom and I got into this HUGE FIGHT on Friday night. I mean huge. Yelling and throwing things and I hate yous and all that fun stuff.
Bear with me, it’s all relevant. So, for some reason, whenever I get really upset or emotional, I get sick. I’m not sure why. My immune system’s pretty shot as it is, so maybe that has something to do with it? But anyway. So I wake up Sunday, and I’m freezing, and my muscles hurt so bad. It was like when I was back in taekwondo on Saturdays, working out with the competition team, and it was a really good workout. I was just so sore, and I couldn’t figure out why. So I fell back to sleep until one, and woke up, and couldn’t stop sneezing, and I couldn’t breathe through my nose. SO I took my temperature, and it was like… 101.2 or something like that. So I’m like great, because the next day (yesterday, for those of you keeping up) I had to finish my final two exams, go to counseling, and then go over Blake’s house. And I’m just like. Wonderful. Thankfully, by yesterday, my fever had broken, so I went over to Blake’s. Which is what this blog was supposed to be about? Haha. So. I get to Blake’s around 2:30, and the first thing that happens is I get attacked by this little yappie dog named Scootie - ADORABLE, by the way. Then I meet Blake’s step-mom and his dad. Whose… names I can’t really remember? I know it’s Jerry and… Janet? Maybe? *laughs* I have no idea. How horrible! But they were both really nice. And then Blake and I went into his room to watch Friday Night Lights while we were waiting for his step-mom to get back home from getting things for dinner and stuff. Then around like 6:30, we ate dinner, and then Blake and I sat there talking to his step-mom for about an hour. It was pretty nice. =] So here’s what I know - Blake has a 12-year-old brother named Carson, and a 17-year-old step-sister named Brittany. Which I assume is how you spell it, because she insists that you pronounce her name Britt-uh-knee. I found that kind of humorous. And then after dinner, we all watched Across the Universe, and then I left and got home around ten. And then I called Allie, and we stayed on the phone and talked about nothing and a little bit of somethings - haha - until like eleven, when I had to pass out. So that was my day yesterday. Pretty fantastic, all in all, if you ask me.  0 CMNT | Monday, January 26th, 2009 (3 years, 3 months ago.)
I’m on the phone with the best girl in the world. =]
So I met Blake’s family tonight. And I can’t really explain much now, I’m so exhausted. BUT. It went well. Check for an update tomorrow? 0 CMNT | Friday, January 23rd, 2009 (3 years, 3 months ago.)
I don’t mind midterms. There’s nothing I can really do about them, so why complain, right? Yeah, well sure, it’d be perfectly fine if I didn’t have three days straight of exams, and then have to wake tomorrow at frickin’ six o’clock in the morning to take my stupid SATs.
Grr. So, let me tell you a little story, since this is what’s on my mind at the moment. This time last year, I was dating a boy named Zach. We dated almost two and a half years, and then things started going wrong. he started ditching me, ignoring me, lying about where he was going… And it wasn’t pretty. And me, being the attention-needy person that I am, met someone else. This asshole’s name was Matthew Skye. And what an asshole he turned out to be. My parent’s didn’t like him, because he was twenty-one, which I understand now, but I didn’t. So he would always tell me that he would wait for me until I turned eighteen, and whisper all of these pretty words. Welcome to the dark side. When I would decide that I didn’t want to wait, he would pull this utter bullshit that I wasn’t good enough for anyone else to love. That if anyone knew the person I truly was inside, they’d drop me so fast I couldn’t even blink. No one but he could love me, is basically what he told me. And then one day, he told me he wanted to date his best friend Mandy while he waited for me. Now, it may just be me, but if you’re supposedly in love with someone, you wait, damnit. You don’t find a substitute just for the time being. So I’m like… whatever. And I tell him fine, but he won’t date us both at the same time. So he gets all boo-hooey and that he really wanted me to stay and all this shit, and I’m just so done with it. So then we ignore each other for two weeks, which was fine with me. He was horrible. He controlled your mind, your emotions, your body. Everything was his. His, his, his. But not any more. So during those two weeks, I met Blake, my current boyfriend. He wasn’t at the time, but we had so much in common, and I had told him everything about my past, and we started to like each other. So take THAT and shove it up your ass, Skye. So then the Tuesday after Blake and I start talking, I get this text from the mysteriously disappearing ex-boyfriend. Telling me he chose me over Mandy, he was going to propose to me. And I just left and told him to leave me the Hell alone. So I get this IM last night. And lo and behold, it’s asshole. And he’s like, “Sorry, you deserve better. Blah blah blah.” And I’m like, yeah, I do. And i tell him how horrible he’s been to me, how happy I am now without him, and he gets really upset, antries to play the guilt trip by saying I broke HIS heart. And I’m like, it’s soooo not working this time. And the last thing he says is, “Oh, by the way, I fucked Mandy while we were dating. A lot. Goodbye =)” And I’m like… Is that seriously the worst you can do? Get real. And then I realized something; I had known that - even if wasn’t really having sex with her, they had been dating already. I already knew that. But even realizing that didn’t hurt. He didn’t hurt me. And you know why? Because I never LOVED him. AT ALL. Oh, I fucking hated him. But where else do you go when someone has it stuck in your mind that no one else but him would love you? You don’t go anywhere except back to the person who made you believe it in the first place. But I’m sooooo done now. In other news, my new phone came in. Yay! 0 CMNT | Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 (3 years, 3 months ago.)
Hello there! Let me give you a brief run down of the little things you need to know before any of my blog makes sense to you.
I was born on October 28th, 1991 as Erica Morgan. That does make me seventeen, but that doesn’t mean I’m known only as Erica. My family calls me Beanie (for my bean shaped head as a baby, they thought they were sooo funny), my best friends call me anything from Beanie (adopted from the childhood nickname), Glinda, Yin, Andy, and so many more I can’t really think of. Alot of them are inside jokes - if you ever hear me reference someone by a nickname, I’ll clarify if you ask me to. =) I’m a senior, and it just sort of hit me that I’m graduating this year, so forgive me if I don’t mention it that much. I’m actually one of the only two blue-eyed blondes in my family - and that’s rare. I have too many cousins - three on my dad’s side, three on my mom’s, and too many second- or third-cousins to even remember. I’m about 5’9”, and built like… an average girl, really. Wide hips, narrow waist, dancer legs… Your average girl, in appearance anyway. I am the most schizophrenic person you will ever meet, but it’s all in one personality. I can be shy, quiet, and thoughtful, or opinionated, loud, and giggly. People seem to like to be around me, and I like being around people. I have insane fears - I don’t like even numbers, being awake at midnight, standing in shadows or doorways, or being a passenger in a car. I like cuddling, snuggling, the names Malia and Jasper, the way my best friend’s house smells, the color teal, dancing, swimming, holding hands, and reading. I’m a writer, and I just completed my first book. I don’t like greenbeans, or the dark. I have a boyfriend, named Blake, and he’s wonderful =] That’s really all you need to know about me, right now. 0 CMNT | |
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